Monday, June 20, 2011

I Ran Away From Home!

To be honest, indeed I have a lot of issues with my new roommate. But because I don't like pointing out things I don't like about other people, which obviously a mistake in this case, things just get ugly when I finally exploded when she just came up to me and provoked me the last question I want to hear right now.

"You got a problem with me?"

Obviously, I'm the one who was listening while she went on and on about me having problem with her. What came out from my mouth is all I want is for her to stay away from me. I know that is the least she would expect hearing from me cause I know how she'll react to that.

I cried. A lot.

Next thing I knew, I packed my notebooks and left the room. I was about to go to my best friend's room but instead I took Jeremy and planning to ride off our university. But suddenly, the moment I passed through the gate, it was raining heavily. I decided just to take a spin around the campus and finally headed down to the faculty where I'm having classes for the semester - Engineering faculty and parked in front of E05. I ran towards E01 and took elevator to the third floor where I'll be having my replacement Pre-Calculus class by 8 p.m. I looked at my watch, it was just 5 p.m.

I took out my iPod and started to listen to music. I took out my unfinished Pre-Calc notes and started to finish them.

I don't know what's happening actually. Why I'm so upset? I never runaway from a fight but I just did.

When I'm done with the class I headed back to my residency and went to my best friend's room with ice-cream, some junk foods I bought from the kiosk. Next thing I knew I just blurted every thing what happened to them, but I still felt the stuff in my chest. I went on with what I actually feel after 2 months in here and suddenly, I blurted "...the fact I'll never going back to Kuantan..."

..and then I stopped. That is what actually this was all about. I'm actually just trying to find reason not to like Gombak Campus. Childishly hoping  there'll be a way for me to be able to go back to Kuantan Campus and continue to be with my best friend and all my close friends.

So this isn't about my roommate? She actually played her role really well in making me realize my subconscious mind about this whole thing I'm going through in this campus with changing course and everything. I thought I was doing fine with good scores in quizzes and mid term exams recently but I did wonder why not even the slightest bit I feel happy about it. Why even after meeting so many good friends I had during the time I was in Foundation centre I still feel a big hole in my heart? Why even after meeting with all my state-mates and even though their number during this semester is only 1 quarter of the actual number but still triple the number of the ones that I had when I was in Kuantan?

Now I understand. This is the part of life where the post-teenage phase meets the adult phase. I think so. A teenage in me would go to my parents and ask them to make me stay in Kuantan Campus. A post-teenage in me will still try to delay the process but know that I'll eventually be in Kuantan again. But I think, the adult in me will stand up against all these thoughts and take the steps forward towards the big responsibilities and shoulder them on by myself.

Yep. I would prefer to think so.

Nice timing actually. The final week before the final exams. Now, I can focus on what I'm gonna do in order to get the minimum of B in my papers for me to boldly change my course to Pure Architecture from Applied Arts and Design Department after going through all those crazy moments I had while 'confronting' the AAD lecturer's questions during the interview.

whatever. whatever. I'll see you in next entry.